God has been gracious

I am constantly amazed the way God links us to other people in life.  Through a mutual dear friend, not even in the same state, two new mamas that love the Lord living in the same area are linked to one another! I am one of the new mamas and Kristen being the other.  However, not too long ago it seemed that I would never have the sweet title of mom.  But as I type with one hand and hold my precious baby boy cuddling on me in the other its hard not to share what God has done in our lives. You see through emails back and forth over Kristen’s beautiful new book ministry we shared a little bit of life with one another. A large part of that life for us has been the struggle of infertility.  

            Growing up many of us dream of what our life will look like. We will grow up, get jobs, meet and marry the love of our life, have babies and live happily ever after. Or something along those lines! However the day we received the news from the doctor that having a child without medical intervention would be impossible those plans came tumbling down quickly.  Our hearts cried out to the Lord and couldn’t wrap our minds around the thought of not being able to have a family of our own. We prayed a lot the following months about what God was calling us to do. Did he want us to adopt? Were we supposed to try medical intervention? We decided to pursue both avenues of having a family.  During the next few years many things happened in our lives that we had not planned. My husband endured two concussions and three surgeries and it rocked our world. He needed me as a full time supporter and I was able to be there for him through it all. Looking back God’s provision for us and our family was so clear! He knew the timing and our desires and He knew what was best for us.  He also supplied an abundance of strength for us in times where we were running on fumes!  In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Paul reminds us that His grace is sufficient for us, and His power is made perfect in our weakness! We have never seen His power more clearly than through these times.

Last year around this time we felt led to try a round of fertility treatments. We had all the arrangements set and our plane tickets booked! During the preparations we discovered a lump in my chest and the doctors feared the worst. We were told to cancel our plans and we would not be able to pursue fertility until further notice. Though God had showed up so much over the last few years it was still a daily battle of relinquishing control to His plans for our family. My heart just yearned to be a mom and we couldn’t understand what God was doing. On a journal entry dated November 25th, with tear stained pages, my last sentence read, “Lord, help me to be content where I am today!”  On November 26th I realized I was late but figured it was due to all the stress, the doctors did tell us it was impossible after all. I remember like it was yesterday the nudge to take an at home pregnancy test. I had promised myself earlier on in our journey numerous times I wouldn’t take one since it always led to disappointment. We had one test left…two lines appeared! I can’t put into words the feelings that overcame my husband and I as tears of joy filled our eyes. God had done the impossible…we were pregnant! The praises didn’t end there. My test results came back that I would have to do a minor procedure but that I did not have cancer! The Lord continued to watch over us and show up through the pregnancy and delivery and today we have a beautiful baby boy named Jax, whose name means “God has been gracious.”

Are you at a season in your life where you are asking “why?” Maybe you can’t see the good in what you are facing right now and you’re losing hope. My prayer is that our story will fill you with hope that God is still working the impossible in lives today. He knows the best plan for your life and is working each and every circumstance to fulfill that plan.  I would like to end with sharing some verses that touched our lives through this journey in hopes that they will remind you of His promises. May God bless you abundantly according to His will!


“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love
 him, who have been called according to his purpose”
 Romans 8:28

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
 In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and 
not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

(pictures of our baby boy Jax, 11 wks young)

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